Thursday, January 9, 2014

LoveLee Adoptee: #4 My Biological Dad Part 2

 Life in Korea.


#3 Memory of Dad
*Ever since I can remember, I always sleep with the covers over my head. I have to be covered from head to toe, like being wrapped in a cocoon. *

I was sleeping in a pile of blankets, one day at home. It was just me and my mom. I don't remember what she was doing at the time, but she was there. As i was waking up, I heard my dad come home. I didn't get out of the blankets. I heard my parents arguing and fighting. I don't remember what they were saying as the blankets muffled what was said. All of a sudden, I felt a heavy body on me. I struggled to get out of the blankets. The person that was on me was my dad. I don't know if he knew I was under there, but in the back of my mind, i knew he did. I was whimpering to get fresh air. I tossed as hard as I could. All of a sudden the blankets was thrown off me. He picked me up high in the air by my shoulders. Pow. His fist landed right on my nose and lip. He dropped me. he gave me the coldest stare, I started crying as blood trickled down my chin. I looked for help, but I couldn't find my mom, or my sister. The next thing I remember, I was crawling outside looking for my older sister. I felt really hurt and other people was guiding me to my sister, because they knew where she was.

#4 Memory of my Dad
We cremated my dad. It was a small dark room and my mom was crying hysterically on the right corner of the room. I was scared. There was a photo of my dad next to the furnace. Somebody pushed me down to bow to the photo and told me to say goodbye to my dad.  I didn't know anything at the time and just did what I was told. Picture me and my sister side by side, bowing with our knees on the floors. I started to have nightmares from that day on.

{My nightmares consists of me falling down a pitch black hole...I was trying to stop myself from falling but could not get myself to get a hold of anything. Before I think I was about to die, I wake up.

My other nightmare was cremating my dad alive. His box was burning and all i could see is his face and his fist pounding on the furnace door.

I had those nightmares until my adopted mom couldn't stand me waking up to another nightmare. She told me to draw what was making me scared on a piece of paper.  I drew my biological dad on a table with fire around him. Then she told me to rip the drawing into tiny pieces. and know that its all a bad dream. He is in heaven. I slept very peacefully from that night on.}

To be continued...


2 comments:

  1. Oh no, he dropped you! I hope that was just an accident and I am sure he felt very sorry!
    I am so happy to hear that your adoptive parents were wonderful to you, sounds like your adoptive mom was a very smart woman to help you through your nightmare the way she did!
    Hugs and kisses,
    Yuli

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  2. ohh gosh.. reading part 4 made me so sad!
    Your dad sounds really nice and I hope the drop was an accident. Your adoptive mom sounds really nice. She is very smart with the idea of drawing your fears on paper and then ripping it apart. =)
    I'm glad you are nightmare free now! =)

    Xoxo

    http://www.mybrokeneggshells.com

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